Zach Gilkey

Unsorted

Pale Blue

As pale blue light glows against my face, my thumbs tap like hammers on glass.

“Why did I do that?” “I didn’t mean to say it so—” “What was I thinking?”

Meanwhile, falsehoods, excuses, and empty promises spill forth. Turning confession into currency, I polish pain into politeness.

Emotions take the wheel. Before I can brake— I press Send.

Convinced I’m speaking truth, sure this is the only road, I miss the turn long before I see it.

Familiar signs ahead: “I’ve been down this road before…” “Led astray by guilt— expecting somewhere new?”

When my thoughts return, they dry my mouth like spoonfuls of sawdust.

So, I rescind, I unsend, I delete.

A drop of water hits the screen as it dims. I wipe my eyes— no more excusing existence. The I’m sorrys have to end.

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